Rule 4 "Make it with love...and whatever else you have around the house"

If you can make something with what you have at home, perfect! You may even be forced to be more creative. Well, Kristen and I had a bunch of apples. We're only using two apples, so if you've got that, you're on to a great start! We spent our evening together listening to Christmas music and making... Apple Turnovers!!!

-An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if you mix it with butter and sugar, does it still work? I like to think so.

Dice up a couple apples and mix them with 1/3 Cup of white sugar and 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon. Heat that for a little while over low heat in a little saucepan. Mash up the apple pieces to make a chunky sort of applesauce. You can do a little variation here, like adding a teaspoon of flour and some water then reducing it to a gooey sauce. I don't think you can really mess this up. Pretty much heat the apples, sugar, and cinnamon until soft, then saucify it. It's tasty with some pieces left in it, so don't creamify it...unless you want to.

Sift together 2 cups of flour and 1 teaspoon of salt. WAIT!!! If you plan on using butter instead of shortening, only put in 1/2 teaspoon of salt or so. It won't really make that much of a difference, probably, but that's just what they say. I didn't realize until it was too late, but then I realized it wouldn't kill me, so I guess it really wasn't too late (Disclaimer: Too much salt throughout your life will in fact kill you, especially if it's a large block of salt and it hits you in the head, but 1/2 teaspoon in an apple turnover isn't anything to worry about...unless you choke on it, or you freeze the turnover and someone throws it at your head). I also sifted in some cinnamon powder to help give a little more flavor to the dough. you could also put in some ginger or something. Do what you want.

-Cut in the shortening or butter, whatever that means. Make sure it's a bit chilled, then add it all(1 cup), but you can cut it into chunks first.
Distribute the flour mix all over the exposed surfaces of the lard(a.k.a. shortening or butter). Start "cutting" it in. If you've got one of those little pastry blenders, that will work great.

I recommend using your fingers. Not only does it work great, but it's fun.
Then you can pretend like you're gonna wipe the dough all over someone's face and see what they do.
Pick up some pieces, then run it through your fingers. We added some more flour to our recipe. Just do what your heart tells you. Make some pieces with your fingers, and mix up the flour with the butter. You'll have some pieces about the size of a quarter, some like a dime, and some smaller. They may be round or flat, small or not as small, but still pretty small, but you'll love them all the same.

Mix in 1/2 cup of cold water with a fork. We put in a little vanilla right now because we love it. I think it may have helped give a little flavor to the dough. Anything you can do to not make your food boring, because nobody wants boring food.

Now you're ready to roll it out. This is my favorite part, but I let Kristen do it because she's cute...and much better at it. While she was doing that, I made sure the filling was ready and set out just a little cold water for the edges of the dough...you'll see.

Roll it to where it's about 1/8 inch thick. We had to split the dough in half and roll the halves separately. Still works...like a charm. Use a cookie cutter or a mug or anything to cut out some circles. Probably about 4 inches in diameter. Ours are a tad big, so we'll go just a little smaller next time. No big deal, a bit smaller just makes it easier to handle.

Put a spoonful of filling in the center of the dough, and moisten the edges a bit with cold water. Fold it over and use a fork to press the edges. If you wanted, you could use two pieces of dough, a little more filling, and make a round turnover. Just be careful not to make it too big or it might fall apart when you flip it over in the oil. I personally suggest the folded method. It takes a couple tries to not mess it up. Well, it took ME a coupe tries, but you may have a better skill for it. Don't get the dough too wet or it gets a bit soggy and the filling starts seeping through, and make sure you press with the fork on both sides, to make the seal better.

It'd be nice if you already had the oil heated so you can plop them right in. They say to put it on medium-high heat, but I think medium or a bit lower is good. Whatever works for you. Just cook until golden brown. You'll want to flip it(carefully) halfway through to cook both sides evenly. No set amount of time, just until they look delicious.

Drain them on some paper towels, then, after they cool a little, sprinkle them with as much powdered sugar as you want. Then....eat them.

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup shortening

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup cold water

2 apples

1/3 cup white sugar

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

vegetable oil(for frying)

Rule #3- Be a kid again.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!


Face it, most of us never really grow up, and whether you do or not, you always wish you could go back and eat some of your favorite childhood meals. Well, Kristen let me pick this one. I never ate this variation, but a more basic recipe. I learned this from a fellow in Arizona named Alan Altruz.

What we made is called Octopus Stew!

What I would eat growing up is macaroni and cheese out of a box, and we'd cook hot dogs, chop them up, and mix them into the macaroni. Kristen isn't a fan of boxed macaroni, a little too spooky, I suppose, so she made her own delicious kind. If you're making this for kids, a box will be perfect. (It'd be perfect for me too) So this is how we started, Kristen made her macaroni and cheese, starting with the sauce.


She made some concoction of flour or something and something else...I don't know.
Then she mixed it into some butter she melted.

Added some leche...milk for those of you that don't "habla español"...(like me), stirring it into the pasty blend of whatever it was she made.

Then you mix in the cheese...lots and lots of cheese, until it gets all gooey and grossly delicious.



Here's where I step in. I get to boil the pasta. Ladies...make sure you give your husband a job to do if you want him to hang out. Preferably something a little more hard-core than boiling water, which I get to do in a minute. We'll show some snacks your husbands can make for themselves some other time, but teamwork is good for now.

We ran out of regular elbow macaroni so we threw in some rotini to make it a bit more squiggly and Halloween-ish.


You mix the pasta and sauce, and this is a baked recipe...so you put it in the oven(the place under the stove where you hide your extra pots and pans. Make sure you clear those out before you turn it on).


Here's where it gets fun. All the rest of that can be skipped if you are making the blue box special, and you just pick up right here. Get some hot dogs. You're going to cut the hot dogs lengthwise, not all the way, but about two-thirds.

You do that until you have a few "tentacles" for your octopus. Eight is the right way, but if you can't handle that, you can do fewer, I don't think anyone's going to count them and judge you for being wrong. Don't do more than eight because that's unnatural. Oh, and the more you do, the thinner they are, which increases their risk of breaking...it's a proven statistical fact.

Poke little eye-holes for them, too.

Then...you murder the little guys. People always say you shouldn't stay in a hot tub too long. This is why--you'll boil to death and become an octopus.


When these little guys are toast, you let them drip off and you stick them right on top of the Mac 'n Cheese, and Voilà(Not a viola)!! You've got some Octopus Stew!!